Op-Ed: The 'Perfect Age' Myth For Women

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In Cambodia, marriage remains a significant milestone that often defines a woman’s perceived success and worth in society.

The concept of the “perfect age” for marriage—a societal standard set around the early-to-mid 20s—places immense pressure on Cambodian women to adhere to timelines dictated by tradition, rather than personal readiness or desire.

For many Cambodian women, the decision to marry—or delay marriage—is not entirely their own. Cultural norms, reinforced by familial and community expectations, impose invisible yet deeply influential boundaries that dictate the “right” timeline for marriage.This expectation can create a conflict between societal norms and women’s aspirations, particularly as more young women pursue higher education and careers.

“Spinster” Label

The roots of these expectations are deeply cultural. In many Cambodian families, daughters are seen as bearers of family honor, and marriage is considered a duty to preserve lineage and community status. Elders often caution against waiting too long, claiming that a woman who delays marriage risks being labeled as a “spinster,” a term heavy with stigma.

Such a label does more than shame; it creates a narrative that questions a woman’s worth and femininity, positioning her as incomplete without a husband. This fear of judgment frequently translates into young women setting aside dreams of higher education, entrepreneurship, or travel to conform to these timelines.

For women who choose to wait—or even reject marriage altogether—the challenges extend beyond personal uncertainty. They often face judgment, gossip, or outright exclusion from their communities. In rural Cambodia, where traditional norms hold greater weight, the consequences can be more severe.

This exclusion underscores the deeply ingrained belief that a woman’s role in society is inherently tied to her relationship status.

Balancing Act

For Cambodian women, navigating these cultural expectations requires a careful balancing act. Many strive to respect their family’s wishes while pursuing their personal goals, often walking a tightrope between tradition and self-determination. In urban areas, where access to education and exposure to global ideologies are more prevalent, women are increasingly challenging these norms. They are redefining success as something rooted in personal fulfillment rather than societal approval.

Still, the journey toward broader acceptance of alternative life choices remains fraught. Public discourse about gender roles in Cambodia rarely addresses the emotional toll of these pressures, leaving many women to silently bear the weight of judgment.

By reexamining cultural norms and dismantling the stigma surrounding delayed or rejected marriages, Cambodia has an opportunity to foster a society where women are valued not for adhering to a timeline but for the unique contributions they bring to their families and communities.