Op-Ed: Victimhood Culture - Does Feminism Sometimes Discourage Resilience?

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Imagine this: You’re in a heated debate online. You disagree—politely—with a feminist influencer’s take. Within minutes, you’re labeled as “toxic,” “unsafe,” and part of “the problem.” You blink, confused.

When did disagreement become danger?

In today’s social climate, standing up for yourself, asking tough questions, or challenging ideas—even within feminism—can feel like stepping on a minefield.

Somewhere along the journey of empowering women, parts of the movement began trading strength for sensitivity, and resilience for perpetual fragility.

This blog explores a hard question:

Has a culture of victimhood begun to undermine the very empowerment feminism was built upon?

From Power to Perpetual Pain

In the early days of feminism, the fight was clear: voting rights, workplace equality, legal protections from abuse, and reproductive autonomy. It was a movement of strength, resistance, and resilience. Today, feminism has evolved, diversified, and expanded in important ways. But in some circles, it has also taken a curious turn—one that emphasizes trauma, harm, and helplessness over empowerment.

There is no question that sexism, harassment, and structural inequality are still very real problems. But somewhere along the way, parts of feminist discourse have shifted focus from fighting systems of oppression to curating identities of permanent victimhood. Social media plays a huge role in this. Platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and Twitter often reward narratives of pain and suffering with likes, shares, and validation.

The unintended consequence?

A culture where being wronged becomes a form of social capital.

In this ecosystem, some women may feel incentivized to frame their experiences through a lens of trauma, even when those experiences are nuanced or debatable. Disagreement is labeled as “gaslighting.” Constructive criticism is “abuse.” Emotional discomfort becomes synonymous with “harm.” This language, while powerful, can dilute the gravity of real trauma and marginalize those who genuinely need support.

What Happens to Agency?

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A key tenet of feminism is agency—the ability to choose, act, and speak on one’s own terms. But when victimhood becomes the dominant identity, agency can get lost. If women are always cast as fragile, vulnerable, and in need of protection, doesn’t that echo the very paternalism feminism was built to dismantle?

We should be cautious not to internalize the idea that discomfort equals oppression, or that all struggles are external. Resilience, after all, is not born from avoiding pain—it’s developed by facing and overcoming it.

The Backlash is Real

This shift toward victimhood has not gone unnoticed outside feminist spaces. Critics—especially those in right-wing or anti-feminist circles—use these narratives to discredit the entire movement. They point to viral posts where women claim oppression because someone interrupted them, or where romantic disappointment is equated with systemic violence. The more feminism appears hypersensitive or divorced from real-world struggles, the easier it is for opponents to dismiss it altogether.

And worse, this backlash isn’t just ideological—it can erode public support for important feminist causes like reproductive rights, equal pay, or violence prevention.

Final Thought: A Better Balance

Feminism doesn’t need to choose between acknowledging harm and promoting strength. It can—and must—do both.

We can validate women’s experiences without encouraging emotional fragility. We can teach boundaries without framing every unpleasant interaction as an assault. And most importantly, we can uplift stories of survival, growth, and power—not just pain.

Let’s return to a feminism that encourages self-awareness, critical thinking, and yes—resilience. Not because we want to pretend the world is fair, but because we know it isn’t—and we refuse to be defined by that.