Strong Man: “kon bros throung bram hat”

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The term masculinity, as written in the Cambridge Dictionary, is defined as the “characteristics that are traditionally thought to be typical of or suitable for men.”

In Cambodia, these “ideal man” characteristics are enshrined in “Chbab Proh,” or “Rules for Men.” Just as “Chbab Srey,” or “Rules for Women,” is embraced socially and culturally in Cambodian society, so too is Chbab Proh practiced by both genders, often without even realizing.

The traditional Cambodian man, as is written in Chbab Proh, is expected to be the protector, provider and head of his family. Moreover, in contrast to the “ideal woman,” who is portrayed generally as silent, cooperative and submissive, terms of masculinity focus on themes of being tough, violent, risk-taking and adventurous.

Is it possible for a man who is supposed to conform to society's ideals of masculinity to also have the freedom to show more vulnerable emotions like sensitivity, compassion, and empathy?

Often these traits are supressed in men, and research has linked this with a deteriation in mental health, including anxiety, depression and suicide.

In Cambodia, as in other nations, the effects of toxic masculinity may include mental health issues among men who struggle to deal with an inability — either real or perceived — to provide for their families.

Interviewed by researchers on the topic, young men in Cambodia expressed their concern over their future responsibilities and expectations of them. One said it was “the obligation of the man to act as the provider and a good husband in the family.”

“A jobless man who cannot feed his wife is considered shameful. An employed man who has no wife is considered meaningless and lonely,” he said.

Appearing tough, emotionless and physically strong, to list a few, are considered as masculine values in Cambodia. Another research respondent said:

“If my mother wants to hit me, I stand and let her hit me without running or crying. I stop wanting my mother to hug me or make me stop being sad. I need to earn money and be tough.”

This is what Cambodians commonly call “kon bros throung bram hat” or a “five-chested man” It translates to “strong man”

Means of help-seeking, which are associated with relying on others, admitting vulnerabilities or recognizing emotional issues, usually conflict with perceptions of masculinity like self-reliance, physical toughness and emotional control.

In Japan, there are about 70 cases of suicide per day, the majority of them men under 45. One cause of such high suicide rates in Japan is an individual’s inability to seek help, as they often are not willing to admit “weakness.”

We are all human beings. We all have feelings of sadness, happiness, anger and fear. Despite evidence of the negative effects of male gender stereotypes, society continues to marry a particular gender with certain characteristics. It’s time we stopped following these stereotypes that put all genders at risk.